Full disclosure: I am a show tune-loving geek. I think It’s because they are so colorful, dramatic and unapologetically over-the-top…qualities I long to display when I’m feeling stagnant, stuck and small. The times when I allow myself to feel trapped by circumstances and wonder if I should just get “STATUS QUO” stamped on my forehead and call it a day.
And while I am exceedingly grateful for the life I live, I gotta be honest: this is the emotional limbo I’ve been in for the past few weeks. I had imperceptibly slid down the proverbial rabbit hole of thinking that just maybe I could be okay with less than I’d dreamed of. I mean, life is about compromise, right? Even Mick Jagger said, “You can’t always get what you want.”
But because God has a sense of humor (and I have satellite radio with a Broadway channel), I was given a much-needed moment of enlightenment via a flying witch with a five-octave range.
My favorite musical is Wicked, the prequel to The Wizard of Oz that tells the story of Elphaba, the nice girl who turned into the Wicked Witch of the West when society couldn’t accept her for the unique being that she was. I love the idea that she unapologetically flew (literally) in the face of what was considered appropriate.
After a particularly uninspired morning of slogging away at writing something that felt like a cross between a term paper and a tech manual, I decided I needed a trip to the Holy Land (aka Starbucks). I got in the car, turned on the radio, and the first thing I heard was my favorite emerald-skinned rebel singing these words:
Something has changed
something is not the same.
I’m through with playing by the rules
of someone else’s game…
As I listened, I realized that a huge part of my problem was that something had changed inside of me, but I was still behaving outwardly as if nothing was any different.
I had been actively embracing the truth that you can truly be, do or have ANYTHING in this lifetime that you desire. And for me, that included accepting the fact that I am a passionate multipotentialite, with interests ranging from creating healing essential oil blends to filmmaking (with about 14 things in between those two).
But somehow my hard-wiring for “be/do/have it ALL” had short circuited into “be/do/have what seems reasonable.”
But I realized that feeling this nagging unrest was actually a blessing. If I was numb to the fact that I was so off-kilter, I’d continue cantering along like a one (or two) trick pony and completely miss my destiny.
And apparently the wicked one agreed with this assessment, because the next gem she belted out was this:
Too late for
too late to go back to sleep,
It’s time to trust my instincts,
close my eyes and leap…
I had been second, third and fourth-guessing myself right out of the person I was meant to be. Just because I saw people around me choosing one thing and dutifully staying in their lanes, there was no reason I had to go along lockstep with that program. My soul knew this, but my human brain was hitting back with the one-two punch of fear and resistance. So, I decided to follow the next musical directive:
It’s time to try defying gravity…
We aren’t taught that defiance is healthy. That it’s part of our built-in spiritual protection mechanism to keep us on course with the purpose we were given when we first donned our earth suits. Sure, guidance and advice can be helpful…and even life-saving at times. But ultimately, we are the only ones who can read the blueprint that lives in our divine DNA.
We alone create our futures. Why is that message so hard for us to receive? Because it’s easier to say “I can’t because…(fill in the blank with the person/thing/circumstance that supposedly holds you back).” And it’s often daunting to realize that we may disappoint people because we aren’t doing what they want us to.
But what are we so scared of? Why do we believe that someone not liking us or declaring our chosen path to be stupid or sacrilegious is going to be the very death of our souls? In fact, it’s the opposite. Choosing to follow our own light is what gives us freedom, and inspires others to pursue it, as well.
And no matter who or what we lose along the way, nothing can ever replace the God-given desire to be exactly who we were created to be. Nothing more, nothing less.
Dare to defy the doubts – your own, and those of others – and nothing can keep you down.
Maybe not even gravity.